Managing judgment
• Judgment can immobilize clinicians
• Hold judgment and make and inquiry

Respect can alter the perception of judgment and as depth of respect is developed judgment will come to the fore less readily. However it can be a powerful force in a clinical encounter. Experiencing judgment can shut down a clinician attempting to work collaboratively. This is because of our understanding that communicating the judgment is unlikely to be helpful. An obvious alternative is silence. However, this may mean that an opportunity is lost. Where the clinician is experiencing judgment we may well be responding to something of significance. There are also situations where we cannot afford to be silent when experiencing judgment as there may be significant issues relevant to the safety or well being of the person which need to be addressed.

A more effective alternative to silence is to 'hold the judgment and make an inquiry'. This inquiry needs to be made with an attitude of profound respectfulness holding a readiness to hear the answer. General examples might include:

In listening to parents speaking in a disparaging way to children:

In the process of exploration of this kind many surprises are possible.

An example of this comes from a father with a history of drug addiction and criminal charges. He showed reluctance even to engage in conversation around contact with his eight year old son who was experiencing difficulties. This apparent lack of interest in contact with his son was perceived by the staff with judgment. However, respectful inquiry with working in the present moment opened a fruitful inquiry:

• [Interval while man sat in still silence, then replied quietly, looking down with emotion]

• "I don’t want him to have a father like me."

This opened the way for a conversation about his intentions re parenting (the kind of father he did want his son to have) and his desire to be the positive role model for his son that he never had, what might be the first signs of change in that direction and the steps he might take to increase the likelihood of it coming about.