Talking about suicidal feelings
• Careful use of therapeutic strategies in each step of the conversation can support movement, agency and resource.
• Avoid totalising questions which push a person into a binary. For instance, ‘Are you suicidal?’ or ‘Can you guarantee your safety?’

The benefits of all aspects of Johnella Bird's work are particularly apparent in this context. Using relational externalising to ask whether the person is experiencing suicidal thoughts languages them into the conversation as an agent in relation to the experience of the suicidal thoughts or urges. This gives them some separation from the thoughts. It also supports moving out of binary, in contrast to:

“Are you suicidal?” or “Can you guarantee your safety?”

Relational externalising also supports contextualizing of the suicidal thoughts/urges, opens up the conversation to:

“the suicidal thoughts you experienced when …”.

This can bring forward knowledge as well as the possibility of movement if the suicidal thoughts are not described as a fixed attribute of the person, but in relation to circumstances which may be able to be addressed. Researching difference through time can also support the possibility of movement:

“You were saying the suicidal thoughts are the strongest when you and your mum are arguing. Do you notice them as soon as the argument starts, or do they take a while to gather strength?”

“How did you get through?” can move the focus to agency.

"What kept you going?" or "Has there ever been a time when life felt worth living?" support focus on presence rather than absence.