Carefully negotiating meaning
• Social constructionist view of language
• People often don’t tell us the meanings we pick up they don’t intend
• How much do I understand about how living with this is for this person?
• Moving between ideas and practice

We all use words to communicate our experience without ever having any direct access to other people’s experience to know if we are using words in the same way. There are many differences in what people mean by words such as love, respect, happiness, wellness, illness, depression, etc. If we are to bring forward the person’s experience, knowledge and resources we need to negotiate consensus of meaning. People often don’t tell us the meaning we pick up that they don’t intend. They think we know and often conclude that what we say 'must be true' because of the power relation. Thus they can lose the opportunity to bring forward the specific personal understanding of meaning they hold. A simple example comes from a situation when a young woman described herself as having been 'spoiled'.

When asked what she meant by that she turned to the clinician as an authority and asked:

"What does ‘spoiled’ mean?"

An understanding of wider societal understanding of ‘spoiled’ is of no usefulness to the conversation. What is needed is the understanding of ‘spoiled’ she used when making the statement.

Given that much of our clinical knowledge is based on collapsing and grouping people’s experiences it is useful to ask oneself:

“How much do I understand about how living with this is for this person?”

For example:

“I’ve had enough. I am desperate.”

We may think we understand desperation, but a range of possibilities can be brought forward by inquiry.

“Is this desperation meaning you are thinking about walking away, or does it give you more motivation to try and find a solution?”

Moving between ideas and practice can bring forward meaning. Clarifying terms in terms of action can be helpful in bringing forward meaning, valuing or intention supporting an action. For example, a young person described arguing back to a teacher (action) because a punishment was not fair.

“Is fairness an important idea for you? (idea supporting action) How does your concern for fairness show in your life?” (actions supported by the idea).

From a conversation with a person contemplating suicide: